OnFood: Mayonnaise. . .Food’s Perfect Sauce.
I’m talking about this because this is something you should all know how to do. Besides saving you a freaking buttload of money, homemade mayo is one of those things that makes you look like you’re a lot more sophisticated than you really are, and it’s hella easy. Also, if you’re like me, sometimes you go through mayo like it’s water, and sometimes, that stupid jar stares at you for weeks upon end. Freshly made mayo doesn’t have that jiggly gelatin look when you pour it (yes, I said pour) on something, or in something. Or under something, or something. Finally, homemade mayo just TASTES better than even the bestest jarred mayo out there, regardless of whatever mayo you use. So there.
For those not so culinarily inclined, mayonnaise is, well, pretty interesting. It is an egg sauce (there are many, don’t get me started), and it’s also an emulsion. This will become wildly important in a moment. For those who care, all of you in other words, an emulsion is, technically, a combination of a liquid (water, or sometimes, something other than water), and an oil, and, sometimes, an EMULSIFIER, which is nothing more or less than some kind of something that helps the liquid and the oil combine. The point of the emulsifier is to help the two disparate OTHER parts combine, more or less, permanently. In the case of mayo (if you don’t mind, I’ll just call it that from now on), these combinatorial theatrics are also helped along by acid ingredients, which we’ll get to in a minute. The important point is that, at base, an emulsion is liquid, OIL, sometimes an emulsifier, and sometimes other ingredients which can assist the formation of the emulsion.
In the case of mayo, the ingredients that are necessary to its formation all support the formulation of the emulsion: Oil, acid source, mustard (I’ll explain this too), egg yolks, spices, and, sometimes, herbs or other flavourings. These are the ingredients in the IDEAL mayo. Not necessarily the classic recipe, which sort of sucks unless you’re making Aioli. Which, if done right, you would want to eat straight from the jar. Aioli is why God created Garlic, but we’ll save that for another day.
Oh, I nearly forgot. In the case of mayo, we ARE using an emulsifier, which is egg yolk. And, right under your very nose, the egg yolks are using lecithin as THEIR emulsifier. How clever is that? It’s mostly the lecithin in the egg yolk that allows this emulsion to work. Of course, it’s not at all that simple, but I’m frankly too tired to explain all of it to you right now. Just go with the lecithin angle for right now.
So, here’s the recipe, and technique, for creating the Perfect Mayonnaise. Okay, I lied. If I were being dead honest, which I try almost never to do, I would have to say that this is the Almost Perfect Mayo for Almost Everything. However, the truth is that Mayo is one of those things that should be tweaked for specific applications; you should maybe make it more mustard-y for potato salad, maybe a bit less so for egg salad; maybe add a bit of tomato paste for ham salad, and maybe some fresh chervil and/or dill for glazing your salmon prior to broiling it. And, if I may say so, nothing tastes better than fresh mayo for brushing onto a Toasted Cheese Sandwich just prior to grilling it. Works for Panini too!
Anyway, here’s the base ingredient deck and instructions for Almost Perfect Mayo. Oh, I forgot. If you don’t have an immersion (stick) blender, stop right now and go and get one. The mayo you make with a stick blender is absolutely so much better, plus it’s really easy when you just give in and do it my way. So go get your stick blender; I’ll wait.
Ready? Here we go. You need two egg yolks. Don’t start cracking eggs yet. Just get them out of the fridge. Get yourself a bowl of extremely hot water, ideally almost boiling. Yes, you can use the microwave to zap the water. Once it’s steaming hot, remove it from the nuke and set it aside. Place your two perfectly whole uncracked eggs in the bowl and set aside for, like, two minutes. After two minutes, take the eggs out of the bowl, crack them into your blender container, or another tall relatively narrow container, and separate them; yolks into the blender container, whites into another small bowl. I know, it seems like a waste, but you can always save them, or, like me, you could make a luscious meringue with them.
To the egg yolks, add your chosen acid. Typically, in a regular mayo, you’d add 2-3 Tbsp. of lemon juice. If you want a mayo that’s more latin in flavour, substitute lime juice. You can also substitute any type of vinegar (I like a touch of apple cider vinegar, with the rest being white distilled vinegar). Next add a good squirt of any commercially prepared YELLOW mustard, about a tablespoon. The classic recipe usually calls for Dijon, but most people don’t much care for that, so I use yellow. Now, add about a tablespoon of really good olive oil. Mix this with a fork.
Push your stick blender all the way to the bottom of the container and fire it up. Mix the ingredients for fifteen seconds. Stop blending and add a healthy pinch of salt, and a little pepper; I prefer white. Here’s the part where many people get in trouble. Measure out about a cup of your selected oil. Reserve out about a tablespoon of the oil, because you’ll be using it next. I prefer a really good Olive oil, but you could use canola, safflower, or any other relatively light oil. In any event, start the stick blender again, and after a few seconds, begin to DROP the spoonful of oil directly into the container, a single drop at a time, and blend it in with everything else. This will take some time, but you don’t have anything else to for a few minutes anyway. Remember to make sure each drop of oil is fully incorporated into the mix before you add the next drop. After you do this, get another Tablespoon of the oil, and add it in a slow, slow, steady stream, insuring that it all gets incorporated fully. At this point, it’ll look all loose and foamy and awful. You’re doing fine.
Add the rest of the oil in a very slow stream, mixing it all around with the stick blender (this is the fun part). As you add the oil, you’ll notice it that your mix is starting to thicken up. Keep adding until your mixture begins to thicken. . .stop adding oil when the mixture is thick enough that when you pull the stick blender up, it kind of GLOPS off the stick. Don’t add more than this or the mayo will become oily feeling in the mouth.
Once you’ve taken your mayo from the foamy awful, loose stage to the thicker, heartier, creamy stage, you’re all but done. Now, if you wanted, you could add pesto, or ketchup, or even another type of mustard if you want. Whatever makes YOU happy, makes your mayo happy.
Store the mayo in a jar with a tight-fitting lid. I’m supposed to tell you that it’ll be good for only about a week, but, between us chickens, I’ll share with you that I’ve gone up to two weeks, and I’m not dead yet. However, I amazing recuperative powers not available to normal mortals, so, you should probably absolutely NOT listen to me, and use your mayo up within a week.
Try the homemade mayo, once or twice, at least. You probably won’t EVER buy jarred (i.e. commercial, i.e. GROSS) mayo again. And even if you do, at least you’ll know how they make the stuff.
Warm Regards,
James.
